eXactly

I don't have to get things exactly right.  Take this A-Z challenge.  I certainly didn't finish it within 26 days.  Here it is over a year later (began April 1, 2013) and I am just now almost finished and still not quite.  Even with the title of this entry, I am writing the second letter being "x" and not the first.  Things don't have to be eXactly right.  In fact, seldom are they.

Seldom are things they way we consider right to be, but if we wait for "eXactly" we might be missing out on something really good.  If we wait for "eXactly" the right person, we may never be married.  If we wait for "eXactly" the right time, we may never have children.  If we wait for "eXactly" the right moment, we may never experience the fullness of joy.

This is not to say that we should not choose carefully when we marry, have children or wait for the right timing.  This is only to say that the precision of "eXactly" is perhaps more rare than common and more perfect than most aspects of life.  Even now, I am struggling to say "eXactly" what I wish to communicate but that doesn't prevent me from blogging.  Perhaps that is the whole purpose of this A-Z challenge - - that we should not worry so much about "eXactly" and just plunge forward.

WONDERING & WRITING

I am wondering about writing today.

Sometimes I'd like to quit everything I'm doing and focus solely on writing.  Writing is one of my favorite things to do in the whole world.  I've started several books.  Someday I will finish at least one of them.  I've been published in national newsletters and major newspapers.  I love to write and wish I could spend most of my time doing so.

I think this is the route I will take when I retire.  I will make a concerted effort to take all of the many writings I have accumulated over the decades and put them into some kind of great work.  The only reason I'm not doing this right now is because my writing is based on experiences and I am still experiencing life.  As a friend of mine has said, the book is still being written.

If I should die before I retire, I hope someone will take the pains to put together and publish a memoir.  I plan to live as long as the Lord gives me breath.  If I die sooner, I suppose having a book published becomes my final wish.  If I die later, publishing my book becomes my living wish.  Maybe I will start by taking vacations, renting a cabin somewhere away from everywhere and just write.

yep, that sounds about write.

 

VICTORY, VOICE, VALIDATION & VAIN

When I was thinking about what to write, for the longest time, I wanted to write on victory - - what it's like to live victoriously, knowing that every battle I will ever wage has circumstances which are not yet known to me and outcomes in which my Lord is victorious.  This is what I originally wanted to write about.  I have experienced so many victories in which only my Lord can be glorified and I pray for many more victories I have yet to experience in which my Lord will be glorified yet again.  This is what it means to live a life of victory.  It's not about easy living.  It's about living for the glory of my Lord.

Then there is voice.  I have no gift of voice without my Lord.  I cannot speak, cannot even utter a sound, without the powerful breath of the Living Lord upon my being.  For it is in VOICE that He gives me VICTORY.  It is the precious gift of voice that His word and His power and His glory reign forever.  Lord Jesus, may my voice always be a resounding and majestic chord of your Holy Spirit.  May my voice be a blessing to you and your people.  May my voice be heard across the globe and when they hear my voice, may it be your voice that is heard.

Then there is validation.  May I not seek validation from anyone or anything other than my Lord.  May my victories and my voice never be tied to validation except the validation that is sought and found in You, my Lord.  The validation of the Victor and the validation of the Voice-Giver is all the validation I will ever need and may it be the only validation I will ever seek.

Finally, there is vain.  I hope my life is not in vain.  I hope that my battles are large enough and my life is large enough and my gift of voice is a surrendering to your agenda for my every breath.  It's not enough to give You gifts which cost me nothing.  It's not enough to live a life of ease and comfort and diluted culture that fails to recognize our life is in vain if we do not have VICTORY with You.  Lord Jesus, make me worthy of your calling on my life.  May every evil thwarted against me and my voice be in vain because I walk with You.  You are my Lord and my Friend.  I love You Jesus.  Amen.

UNDERSTAND

Understand that I have a million responsibilities that I am learning to live with.  Yes, it is in living where emphasis should be placed because I can choose at any moment not to fulfill a responsibility or an obligation or a commitment.  I can choose at any moment to die, but instead I choose to live because life is worth living.

Understand that I don't always feel this way.  Understand that no matter how much I know in my head that God is using me for greatness, I am still sometimes betrayed by my heart when flooded with emotions that have greater context than they deserve.

Understand that I am not larger than life, but I am just me.  I struggle with little things that seem minute to others but seem extraordinarily big to me.  I am just a regular person, but there is nothing normal about me - - nor would I want there to be.

Understand that I am fighting with all my might.  Understand that I cannot look back.  Understand that I will never be the same again.  Understand that that this is what movement looks like.  Understand that this is what life looks like.  Understand.

Time

Time is running out.  Time to do all the things I've always wanted to do.  Time to say what I want to do and then do it.  Time today spent taking a walk.  Time tomorrow is lost on the clock.  Time will tell.  Time will prevail.  Time needs to be spent reading the mail.  Time is nothing if not a constant guarentee of who we truly are by how we spend our time.  Time both ends and lasts forever.  What if today is your final hour?

SURPRISE

Surprise!  I'm back!  It has taken me longer to complete the A-Z challenge than I originally thought it would.  There are always reasons for things like this.  For example, I missed one day and then it became easier to miss more than one day.  Then I traveled and was really busy with work.  Then it had been so long since I logged in that I forgot my password for both the blogger and for the email address that is associated with this account.  Today, I somehow stumbled upon the way to retrieve my email account password which also allowed me to retrieve my blogger password.  Don't ask me how.  I couldn't repeat what I did if I tried.  I'm not a "techie" kind of person.  I was surprise to discover that I had already began a draft with another "S" entry.  We can live our lives and have one thing happen after another and another until one day  - - surprise!  We are caught wondering where did all the time go.  On your day of surprise, will you be pleased with how you lived your life?  Surprise may only be a breath away.

READY TO CHANGE TO WORLD

I've avoided writing this particular blog for quite awhile now.  I've known the title since I made my last blog entry, but what does it truly mean to be ready to change the world?  It all started with a simple every day question which was never a simple question for me.

"How are you?"

Most people don't really want to know how you are unless the answer is positive.  I began thinking about that; trying out different ways to answer that particularly painful question with a response that is both positive and authentic.  I finally decided that I am ready to change the world and that's how the question needs to be answered.

Being ready to change the world means a lot of things to a lot of people, but here is what it means to me. It means I am no longer content to live in a world where we ask one another "How are you?" without having any real concern about each other's welfare.  When people ask me "How are you?" I get all kinds of reactions when I say "I'm ready to change the world."  I'm thinking it might be a good topic for a book because I have so much more here I want to share and so much more that I am still learning based on one statement that suggests not only can the world be changed, but I have the power to make it happen.