ABANDONMENT & AFFIRMATION

Abandonment & Affirmation are two pretty big words for me.  As a child, I was abandoned by my Father and affirmed by my Grams.  It's been so long ago that I only have a couple memories of my Father.  There were decades of pain that followed, but I don't feel it anymore.  My Father left me to pursue his own life while my heart was bleeding with blood that had no tears.  It's an odd feeling to look back at something that had such a stronghold on my life for so long and today it is nowhere to be found.  My Grams affirmed me.  She loved me and told me that I was special.  As a young child, I loved to write.  She told me I was good at it and encouraged me to keep writing.  I once wrote a story.  I don't even remember what it was about, but she does.  She will tell you it was about a tree.  Somewhere along the way, I lost that story and it nearly crushed her...that was and is how important I am to her.

When I think about abandonment and affirmation and how powerful both of the words are, I am convinced I must willingly incorporate them into my life in ways that are similar and different from how they were both thrust upon me.  I have to abandon the things that I know, the things that are familiar to me so that I will become like a child.  I must abandon and reject a false sense of familiarity to embrace truths that are yet to be revealed.  Abandonment does not need to be a dirty word.  Similarly, I must affirm that which is good.  With my whole being, I must relentlessly love and encourage every moment of life.  I must relentlessly affirm and cling to relationship and friendship, lest I slip and abandon my purpose.